Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
