gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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