she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
