It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
