I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
