accomplished twins. life is a go
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Randomize
