The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
