is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
