Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
