we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
