You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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