she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
