Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
