Your tits are I can't wait for
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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