I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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