she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
