South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
This baby is an asshole
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
