Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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