so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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