I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
