You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
