I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
