She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
