I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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