Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
