Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Is it because I queefed?
you didnt know i had herpes?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
