dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
