my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
