We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
