I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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