Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You are a genius and a whore.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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