he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
