bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
