dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
