Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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