this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I don't deserve a penis
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize