So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize