ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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