ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
