if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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