question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
