Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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