just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
