did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
