Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
