no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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