I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just want to make out with him forever
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
