Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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