Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
