i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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