Apparently you make a good broom.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
