I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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