we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
