Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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