I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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