i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
