Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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